This blog post almost didn’t happen. There was an entirely other first post, and I deleted it. I didn’t do it on purpose. I did it because I am not savvy with le technologie, as the French probably don’t say.
The other post was this super bloggy post that I pressured my self to make, but I made it. It was done, and I was fine with it, and when I accidentally deleted it, oh boy, that didn’t feel so good.
Perfectionism comes as a possible symptom of my codependency, which is something that has been with me for most of my life but I’m only just learning about now. I suspect that there are so many benefits to putting your thoughts in blog form and to blogging. The benefits I’m most interested in are the mental health-related ones. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there can probably be pitfalls, too. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding those pitfalls and it hasn’t got me anywhere that I enjoy. I don’t want to avoid them anymore, but I do need to be honest with myself and know that I will confront them.
That having been said, I don’t want that to prevent me from making and doing things. I want to make things that sometimes aren’t perfect and earn me the privilege of criticism. I want to fail at things so that I can get better at failing.
If the first blog post didn’t happen, how can the second one happen? And I want there to be a second one. I want to dive into my journey with codependency and mental health struggles, and I want others to share their own experiences with me. I want to be honest about my own mental health hurdles so that others can feel liberated to be honest, too.
It’s good to make good things. But it’s also just good to make things. What sounds more free to you? I don’t want to listen to the voice that tells me that my best is not enough. I want to listen to the voice that says that my best is the only thing that’s possible. And I’m doing my best here. I know you all are, too.